I don’t understand why God doesn’t readily answer the prayers of decent, God-fearing, infertile people. But God never promised us that in our earthly understanding and limitations, we would be able to comprehend His ways. Instead, He says the opposite: “‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord. ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts’” (Isaiah 55:8-9, NIV).
So...is it okay to be angry with God? Yes, and it’s okay to tell Him about it. As I like to call it...I had my "holy fit"! God already knows every thought that crosses my mind—past, present, and future. I know He can handle my outbursts. He’s willing to hear my frustrations. He is the safest audience I could ever hope to find….I suppose the key is to not allow bitterness to enter in. I will admit that I do struggle with that. The hardest part I think is just not understanding why...but I don't have to understand. I know God is in control!
There are so many things...but all I can do is WAIT! "We turn to God for help when our foundations are shaking...only to learn that it is God who is shaking them!" How true is that. God is in control of everything.
"But those who wait on the Lord will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31
Parts of this post came from :http://www.infertilitysurvivalguide.com/issues/chapter12.htm
My College Graduate
2 weeks ago
10 comments:
Oh sweetie..I am so sorry!! I know this is so hard...so very hard. As I read your prayer I just cried b/c I feel the same exact way. I feel like everyone is pg, but me. It is so hard to face my friends that are pg and family too. But I KNOW that God has a plan for us. I KNOW that His plan is so much better than ours. Sending you Love and Hugs!! I will wait with you!!
Everything you wrote is unfortunatley true...the hubby and I laughed at the Doctor comment...we had the same experience---but have changed doctors since then :)
Praying for you and praying for the patience we need for His timing.
I agree with all the whys? After 6 years of ?'s and countless new babies all around me, I wonder somedays what exactly is "my plan"? I personally have taken a long break from the dr visits and at times have felt hopeless & all alone. However, reading your blog has been a blessing to me. If it helps to know that you are not alone, I offer those words to you. I know it does in a sense help to be able to relate to those who really are able to understand all the emotions dealing with infertility. Best wishes! You will be in my prayers! LG from NC
I have asked myself (and the Lord) every one of those questions you listed. Every one. I don't have any answers either, but I am praying He brings comfort and peace to your heart in a way only He can.
Praying for you, lots.
kendra
I see exactly what you mean, it doesn't seem fair at all! :(
I have felt so many of those things you talked about Sarah!! I have told God on numerous occasions that I am mad. You are in my thoughts and prayers during this hard time.
i think you were able to put into words how so many of us feel who are suffering from intertility. it is a lonely feeling no matter how much support you have. no one completely understands and as women, it is such a strong desire. i know the whole avoiding feeling and the sting of when someone else announces their pregnancy. it stings no matter who it is. i am praying for you and your journey. i pray for peace and comfort in your heart. i am so sorry that you are going through this journey. My favorite verse that i have clung to so many times is:
James 1:2-4
2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything
sarah~ my heart is breaking for you. i pray the Lord will bring you comfort and peace during this difficult time.
hi sarah- We had this exact conversation last night. It is so difficult to wait! and i have all of those exact same questions and thoughts all the time! You are so amazing to put into words what so many of us are feeling. I'm praying for all of us going through this!! Take care!
i feel like i could have written this post. i just don't understand why trials come - but am thankful for the One who carries us. blessings on your journey...i'll be praying for you.
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