This one is Stuart, Mom and Matt skycoasting...Mom is acting like she is scared...however she has done this 4 times! So she is really a pro...Stuart has never done this and he wasn't so sure about it. Good Job Babe!
Here we are eating at Ruth's Chris Steakhouse- Yummy!
Here is Mom and Dad before eating at Ruth's Chris!
Stuart and I at "The Track"! We had a great time playing and riding go-karts!
Last but not least....well, I am not sure what to say about this one...but aren't we some sexy beach kitties! MEOW!
First I had a small meltdown last night...I lost at our Catan game and then I just got mad when I went to bed. I started crying about not wanting to have to do this again...I mean, who goes through IVF 5 times? Possibly me...lovely...then I started thinking about my doggies and I miss them. I know they are in good hands with Ms. Crystal...but they are my babies and they need their mommy. Then I keep thinking...this has to work. I keep going back looking at my blastocyst and thinking...these are perfect...how could they not work? People get pregnant with 8 cells and what if I didn't even with a blast?
Here is my inner monologue for today...I can't do this...I can do this...I have to do this...should I pee on a stick...I don't want to do that...I do want to do that...is it too early...I can't handle a negative again...I have never seen a positive...what if mine is positive...I just wanna cry...and cry...and cry...and cry...good or bad...cry...cry...cry...I am just tired of it all. I just want to be a mommy and I want this to work this time...it has to...will it?
God will still be the same...yesterday...today...and forever...all I can do is trust and give it ALL up to Him, no matter the outcome! Lord, give me peace and strength to go through this...I need only the peace and assurance You can give!
8 comments:
First of all...I L.O.V.E. Ruth's Chris...possibly my FAVORITE restaurant! And I like to eat! :)
Secondly...just want you to know I'm praying with you! :)
Enjoy your awesome beach vacation...it might be a long time til you get back there!(for good reason) :)
AWWW... Sarah... We have been praying hard. Keep thinking positive and know that God is in control. I had a meltdown the other night too. Hope your enjoying your vacation. Talk to you soon.
I just wanted you to know that all the negative feelings you are experiencing are satan's ways of stealing your joy. You ARE pregnant this time...our Lord will prevail!!! You CAN do this and you WILL make it through...truly beleiving it!!!
"If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."~Matthew 20:22
Love you girl!!
I remember that inner dialogue all too well - and I hated it! There are many girls who will POAS, but I advise against it. What's the point? It can only make you crazy, you know? If you get a negative, you'll wonder, "Did I test too soon?" If you get a positive, you'll freak out and then test like 4 more times 'just to be sure.' Plus, sometimes the trigger med isn't out of your system long enough and you can get a false positive. Not to mention, many girls get false negatives because they test too soon! Imagine that horror - the devastation of thinking you're not pregnant again and then going in for the beta and finding out it's a mistake! Anyway, my assvice is to stay away from peeing on a stick!
It's a terribly tragic, life-altering, shit out of luck, situation we've all found ourselves in. I pray like mad that you get your happy ending THIS TIME Sarah! As always, you're in my thoughts. Enjoy the rest of your trip.
Oh the 2ww emotional roller coaster, so not fun. You were smart by surrounding yourself with family and a vacation during this time. Hang in there, beta is soon and I can't wait to see your much awaited for BFP announcement!
Hang in there. Just a Nonny in NC praying for you because I know so many others fighting the battle. Don't let Satan rob you of your joy. TRY to refuse the thoughts he puts in your head. You can never get these days back. Enjoy them with encouragement and hope. I am praying for you.
I don't think you should be riding go karts! EEK.
I'm praying for your success. Don't let negative thoughts get in the way of all your joy and optimism. Please try to relax and enjoy your vacation and let God take care of the rest!
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